Finding Jesus in David’s sin

The gospel has become everything to me. Grace is everything to me. What Jesus did for me is my sail. Without grace, I’m lost in the stormy waters of life. Without the gospel, I’m a mad man hearing strange voices in my head. 

I have to write, journal, read, listen, converse, meditate, debate, consider, contemplate and constantly think about grace. For many reasons but one being to silence the voice of condemnation that speaks so loudly to my heart. The voice of condemnation keeps reminding me how I’ve failed, lied, cheated, doubted, feared and sinned against God and against everyone around me. I have to listen to the gospel. The stereo in our car is always playing sermons and talks that remind us what Jesus did for us. We seem to not get enough of it and every time we’ve lost sight of the gospel, Jenny and I end always end up in a bad space. It is amazing that when the voice of hope and forgiveness is muted, then the voice of condemnation becomes loudest and the consequence is that the person closest to you receives the backlash.

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I HAVE AN ACQUIRED IMMUNE DEFICIENCY SYNDROME towards all things godly

I have never liked tests (and probably never will). The one and only reason why I don’t like tests is that they threaten my important prideful self. They threaten to expose me for who I really am – lazy, incompetent, poor, prideful, slow, fearful and the list goes on and on and on. I guess this is the reason why I dislike army documentaries and reality shows that showcase macho men strutting their stuff.

This is also probably the reason why I claim that the bible is a hard book to read. Why? The bible is too brutal on my sins. It exposes me for who I really am. I don’t measure up and no amount of positive thinking, positive confession or otherwise will make me better than I am.

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