© October 18, 2018 | Schulter Etyang When Jenny and I celebrated our seventh-year anniversary, I wrote a blog on some lessons that we had learned through the years. You can read the blog post here. One of the lessons we shared was this – we are on the same team. In this lesson, I indicated how early on in our marriage, we were highly competitive – competitive that we demeaned the other, subtly or at other times openly. A simple game of squash would end up with angry outbursts and simmering tension that would brew for days. When a friend of ours read the post, she remarked that I was being a bit touchy about the competitiveness and that she liked to compete. In the conversation, she spoke of how she played simple games with her daughter and loved the competition. What I didn’t tell her is that for us, a simple game of squash would bring out the competitive nature in us, and the ensuing tension would simmer for days.
© September 2, 2018 | Schulter Etyang Here we are 8 years later. Jenny and I are celebrating 8 years of marriage. Here are 8 lessons learnt from 8 years of marriage.
© April 17, 2018 | Schulter Etyang Over the years, counsel given to Christian singles and those seeking to marry and even remarry has bemused me. Some of the counsel given through pre-marital counselling sessions, books on dating and courtship, or even from one Christian to another to Christian singles and those who have experienced the sad loss of a marriage through divorce or death has been strange, if not outright unbiblical. I listened to a preacher on Christian television read out a list of things you should ask your potential mate before saying, “I do.” The list was long and detailed. His message went viral. People lapped it up. Yet, if you listened closely to what he said, only a chosen few could meet his criteria.
So, Jenny and I are celebrating our 6th year in marriage. To the one’s that have been married recently that’s like, “Wow that’s amazing guys.” To the ones that have been in this game for long they are like, “Mschew, nothing to see here.” hahahahahaha On September 2, 2011, we made our vows before God and in front of our families and friends. It was a joyous occasion. I cried and snorted like a baby. The day was a blur to me though. I cannot remember most of the details. The only thing I do remember is that the next day we drove around Johannesburg looking for a doctor because I had mild pneumonia. That’s how we started our honeymoon. Here we are 6 years later. As we celebrate our 6th anniversary we decided to write a short post about our journey. It’s something we plan to do every year. This is the first of many posts to come about our marriage and how the gospel of grace has worked its way in and through our lives.
Listen bro, Your tender and delicate wife will defy, disrespect, dislike you and many times submit to you with gritted teeth and a clenched fist – If you hadn’t noticed yet. It’s not her fault. It’s not even her parent’s fault. Her parents were just as defiant, disrespectful and insubordinate just as she is.
Dear wife, Listen closely… That husband of yours is as deeply flawed and wounded as they come – if you hadn’t noticed yet. It’s not his fault. It’s not even his parent’s fault. His parents were just as flawed and wounded as he is. And their parents (his grandparents) were just as flawed and wounded. Whose fault is it anyway? It’s Adam and Eve’s fault. Adam and Eve did that. We are all still suffering because of those two.
Many people enter into marriage Too strong Too knowledgeable Too wise Too experienced Too spiritual or religious Too smart Too clever Too educated Too strategic Mainstream advice on dating and marriage (whether from the church or world) tells single people that they have to enter into marriage knowing their strengths and how to use their strengths to their advantage. By this they mean that single people need to know the strengths that they would bring into their marriage.