4 min read
Open your voice memo app and ask a 21st-century man or woman to define who a friend is or what friendship is all about, and you will be inundated with many definitions. Make it personal and ask your friends what they think your friendship means to them, and the answers will be varied.
Some answers might sound like these
You are my friend because you make me feel special.
You challenge me.
You make me a better person.
You inspire me.
You’ve seen the worst in me and still stayed with me.
You make me laugh.
You are my normal when I go crazy.
You are the person I can trust with my life.
Notice the common refrain? Me! It’s all about the benefits that your friends get from you. It’s your friend basking in the sunlight and you are the sun.
I’ve listened to countless sermons, talks, and read books that push this idea that you should only be in relationships that benefit you—cut off these bloodsuckers and ticks that suck from you, and hang on to those who make you feel special—who push you towards your destiny. When we, therefore, set out to make friends, we make friends with ME in view. We enter relationships, partnerships, and even marriage because of how that other person makes me feel. It’s all about you.